My struggles with Google Play Store App (Beijing)

I just bought a new Samsung Tablet, having lost my old one. I bought the old one in China too, but through Taobao, so perhaps it wasn’t meant for the Chinese market.

I have a VPN running all the time.

Of course there is no Google play store app installed and after three or four days of trying very many things - I’m not a complete luddite or dullard, I can solve even quite complicated computer problems on my own, usually - I am no further forward.

I am constantly told at Protected content that I have no registered device - except of course the device I lost and cannot find any way to register without the f*%*#**ing app.

There are numerous instructional clips at youtube and I have managed to install the app several times, but it never actually works. I appear to have version 5.0.31 installed, but basically, the screen will briefly flash white and give every appearance of opening and then vanish again.

Yes, I know I can search forever and find almost every app somewhere else, but I really don’t have the time and energy. I just need to get a fully functioning google maps, chrome, skype and line installed and working. I bought this thing to make my life easier and i’ve been through almost a week of tedious hell.

I just want to do it conveniently and easily. When I find something useful or interesting - which happens very infrequently - I’d like to be able to download it easily.

I really need the Play Store App, but I’m open other suggestions. I’m even prepared to pay a couple of hundred kwai to have this done for me, but not much more.

How can these things be so popular in this country if you can’t even use them?