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HELP (Damascus)


Protected content name is Sameer, Syrian and Cuban guy. I am 23 years old. My family and me lived in countryside place called Tal Abiad. We lived there for long time( More than 20 years). My dad works as a Doctor, And mom teaches English and French for poor people for free.. I studied there in Tal Abiad all the pre-university phase And when I entered the university I moved to Latakia city to study in its university.. I live here in Latakia city And I rent a room. I worked as languages teacher Also I worked as actor and director in the national theater in latakia.. Latakia is 8 hours far from Tal Abida by bus. Latakia is a bigger and costal city, so I began to know gays via internet.. I had some sexual and lovetrelationships with some guys.. It was two years ago when I ended my last relationship I am still single since then.. My ex boyfriend was almost living with me in the same room. So some people in the street noticed that, and one man, one day asked me if I am gay So I told him yes.. I am gay and proud. I couldnt lie .. It is expensive to travel abroad, and I am poor guy I tried many times ,but I couldnt emigrate in the past.. My work is not enough to pay the rent..and now because of war I have no job to buy food.. Ya I worked.. But I got too little money So when this terrible war started My family had to leave the house during the combates.. It was bombing time in Tal Abiad And they could save their souls hardly.. They could escape just with their clothes. Nothing more... The house was destroyed,and we lost everything.. But we arestill alive.. They came here to latakia and They are alive.. But the house with eveything was destroyed..

Now they live in the countryside of latakia.. They are staying at home For free.. Yes we are seperated cause I am gay.. And where they live now, people dont accept that at all.. So I have my special life..

And I dont want to change myself just because of others.. I am happy for being gay and I dont want to change that.. Here people consider that being homosexual is a big sin And homosexual people must be stoned to death.. But my mom accept the idea and she is proud of me.. I adore her.. She is my angel.. And she supports me.. She loves me.. I recieved threatings manytimes and I was arrested.. People here in the street were watching me with my Ex boyfriend.. So they realized that I am gay.. They began to bother me, They wanted me to leave the street.. They did many actions when I am on my way to work or to market.. For example: They ask the children to hit my head with the ball when they play football in the street.. And once they poured water on my head from upstairs when it was winter and it was cold.. They keep shouting at me when I am passing the street where I live Such: 'hello bitch` Or ,U want somebody to fuck u` And then they laugh.. The always try to make a joke out of me.. They see that to be gay means to be bitch.. My dad is an alcoholic man And he tortured the family many times.. Mom and dad are divorced.. I have three older sisters And no brothers.. The eldest sister got married, And she has two children.. I love my family..even if they dont.. I am the youngest.. But I see that I am responsable for them to have better life.. They love me but they dont accept gays.. I didnt tell them.. But they have their doubts about me.. Anyway if they accept me for being gay or not I will still love them.. And I will help them to get better life.. Now I live alone.. I go to visit them once a month For one or two days.. My friends abroad help me to pay the rent.. And they send me money to buy food.. Once I decided to record a short moviea, about homosexuality So I used my mobile camera And I went to the street to film.. So police watched me And then I was arrested.. I cant talk more about this, cause I dont want to get arrested again.. Now I am trying my best to survive.. And look for better life.. I am not in the university ,cause I cant pay any more I cant eat everyday I stayed 3 days without food.. Sometimes I had to stay in the street, When it was freezing cold My friends help me but not always.. They cant help me always... So I keep fighting to survive and be strong always.. Destruction in Syria is everywhere.. My country syria was a paradise, Now it is the hell... But not all the places Now I am living in guarded place And I feel cold.. I dont have blanket to cover my body..,and no heater too.. But I keep smiling I have a jacket and I wear it to sleep But my legs and foot very cold.. I need help.. Any kind of help.. I have contacted many LGBT associations..they tell me that they want to help me but then they dont.. I am not depressed and I keep trying..maybe one day I will get out of the hell and start to help other people..

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