British Passport replacement in UAE/Dubai

Hi all (Brits)

To my horror I've just discovered there is no longer consular services (or at least the passport office) here in Dubai for British citizens, and that you must now send your passport application to Germany for processing - and it takes 4 weeks minimum.

Did I miss that memo that we've pulled our foreign office staff out of the UAE and we're at war? What the hell is going on?

Anyway , has anyone had to renew/replace a passport here recently, and any advice? If I were to go to the UK for instance (I still have 1 full page and some room on used pages for a stamp or two), how fast could I get a new passport?

Why (oh why) would you pull this service from a country who's population is 80% expats - and a good percentage of that are British?

Ridiculous ...