I like Internations. I like it so much I'm willing to make a statement here that has probably been made in many other Internations communities before and will probably irk some of you. So I apologize to those who think otherwise in advance.
So I'm at the Cavalli Event last night and am chatting with various members, having a good time, all the while observing the crowd.
During several of my chats, I heard the same story over and over.
"I don't like this event because guys..." or "I can't stand it when guys on Internations...".
I don't need to complete the whole quote, because you know what the rest of the comments will be.
Internations is not supposed to be a dating site and Internations events are not supposed to be speed dating events. But, for some, it seems the original intentions have been forgotten.
Of course when we go out, no matter where, we see people who we find attractive. As in any online community, we see someones profile and find them interesting as a potential partner. Its only natural. And I think it ok to think that way.
As a single guy here in Dubai, I'm of course looking for a special person to share my life with. So its only natural for me, like many other guys out there looking for similar things, to mingle and have nice, friendly mature conversations with ladies.
But last night I felt a bit uncomfortable. I observed typical behavior for Dubai and I just wanted to comment on it.
In Dubai, people are here for many reasons, but the majority of us here won't stay long. This seem seems to create a sense of apprehension when forming relationships. This also leads to an atmosphere of mistrust that has shaped the Dubai Expat culture. I'm sure there are plenty of very smart people reading this who would be able to elaborate more and with expertise on the psychological mechanisms governing this behavior, but suffice to say, we all know what I'm talking about.
I watched and listened to very aggressive interactions (from some of the guys, not so much the girls ; Protected content simply turn people off and confirm the unfortunate expat culture of Dubai. I don't think this is really becoming of our little community.
Guys, my message to you. Lay off with the twinkle stuff. This is not a dating site. If you twinkle someone, you should have a good reason. It can be as simple as sharing the same nationality or interest in the same activity. Try that first before you badger a girl with unwanted advances.
My girl friends on Internations tell me about the barrage of twinkles they get. Its a turn off guys.
However I too am guilt of twinkling, but I always follow up with a note that connects us in some way. Not just a "hey baby, you liking me no".
In addition to the twinkle twinkle BULLSHIT (sorry), when you are at an event like last night. Try to respect each others privacy and don't approach a woman and 2 minutes later ask them for their number. In any other place in the world you'd get bitch slapped. Try to respect the customs and if you don't know them, stay on the safe side and just be professional. If she likes you, you'll know.
I understand that some folks in this community have had perhaps a very sheltered life and their experience with western women or women in general is limited to hollywood depictions or their own fantasies. Please keep those to yourself and remember that we, men and women, in this community should be treated with respect. That includes privacy and unwanted advances.
Internations markets itself as a community of trust. Lets try to keep it that way.