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It is the 15th of March and it is still snowing. This is an emergency. Please, those of you who are religious, start praying. Those who are pagans, get busy sacrificing some chickens, because we need to see the sun. (Vegan pagans, I don't know, maybe squash some tofu or something). All yall cranky atheists? Get out that aerosol and spray like hell.

I'm cold! Who knows how to make the springtime come?