what are the components of a lasting relationship? (Muscat)
This thread was placed on International Forum, and I thought it would be interesting to post it over here. So MUSCAT people, come and share your thoughts and views.
Re: What are the components of a lasting relationship
The comments that were received tried to list down the following ………….
-love, care, compassion, attraction - any positive feelings toward another that create willingness to commit.
- similar interest,
- respect, acceptance
- self awareness, autonomy, integrity
- Fulfilling others needs.
- Being spontaneous
- Money, financial stability,
- Balance between taking care of self and another
-Sense of humour
- love for nature
- and so on and on....
We can keep on making a list !! Funny thing is that these all virtues we want to be present in our partner!!! why don't we look at us? You want someone who is perfect for a lasting relationship!! But are you perfect? And a relationship that loses its charm from all angles, better go down the drain. why you want a relationship to last after all? Because , you need someone to talk to, someone to hold on to, someone to rely upon. You want to be cared for. you want to be loved. But do you ever give a deep thought to what love really is? All human beings are imperfect in one way or the other, but still we find many who have managed to keep their relationship/marriage intact. The secret is simple, they forgive and forget..and they really love their better hallves.Only love is not sufficient, there has to be a willingness to FORGIVE and FORGET.....Marriage is a solution, and you have to dissolve your SELF in that, when YOU have dissolved yourself, there is no more I, what now remains is YOU. There is no conflict now……..and in absence of conflict, love thrives.
So, stop making a list. Do not bother what virtues and attitudes you will need to sustain your relationship. Just do what you think that should be done, be true to yourself. Nobody but YOU can make it work. No GURU can teach how to love……In this cosmos, nothing is permanent, everything changes. even the relationship will change, but do not panic, because change is inevitable. Accept it and try to live with it.