Cotia and surroundings for housing and schooling? (São Paulo)

Hello!

my husband's company mentionned Cotia all of a sudden, and so I have to get into information overdrive because we are unlikely to get much help from HR as it is not a company that know how to handle expat requirements. There is talk of that changing, I cant wait!
I know the job is in Cotia, I have two children of primary school age and both are bilingual French/English.
I read horror stories about safety and some people advocate that the only way to be safe is to have a 15K rent in a building block with guards armed up to their teeth. Is it so? I can't see how our company would possibly spend that amount of money on us, it seems insane.
We are pretty much cooped up indoors here in New Delhi because of the pollution, heat, lack of infrastructures, and I would very much like my kids to get some outdoor space, are houses a reasonable option?
I'm lost with the hundreds of neighbourhoods on zap, I can get a decent idea of where I should be looking if my husband works in Cotia.
Lastly, schooling is a delicate subject, are there any lesser known schools than Graded for example? I don't want my kids to forget their English if I sent them to the French school. And the French School seems to be very far out East.
Distances here in Delhi are very small, but it can easily take you 50 minutes to do 9km, I have no idea what SP traffic is like.

I would be very grateful for any pointers or even partial answers, I need to draw up a battle plan so we have a chance of getting what we need to lead a decent life straight on the contract.

Many thanks