The highly romanticized fairy tales and movies displaying love at first sight and happily ever-after stories as if they are actually possible have injected most of us with a ridiculously high level of expectations. It is possible that these stories occur in real life, but they are not the norm by any means, but rather the exception. For most of us, relationships are messy and painful, with some delight and happiness from time to time.
A more reasonable expectation is to treat relationships, starting with the first date, as a continuous learning and improvement process, maybe we will become better at creating successful relationships and achieving a higher level of happiness. This concept of continuous learning and improvement seems similar to the concept of Lean in business (as in lean manufacturing, Protected content or lean startup, Protected content .
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it shouldn’t be romantic, I just think it is reasonable to set our expectations correctly so that we can increase our chances of happiness and success in life in general. One of my favourite articles, How we end up marrying the wrong people ( Protected content ), gets into a number of misconceptions many people have about marriage and relationships and it clearly identifies the need for learning and practice.
So I started searching the subject, and it turned out others had similar ideas:
Love Lessons from the Lean Dating Method, Protected content
Applying a Lean Startup Model to Relationships, Protected content
I didn’t quite like either article, they are just examples that others have been thinking about the same idea.
What I’m wondering is:
1- Do you believe in love at first sight and/or “and they lived happily ever after”?
2- Can romance exist in a relationship with the premise of continuous learning?
3- Would you consider this approach in your next relationship? Or maybe you have been doing that already?
4- Assume you buy into the idea, how do you introduce it to your date or significant other?