New world, new life, new friends... new love?
This thread is in part a rant, in part an encouragement, and in part a wish for advice.
Dear friends, especially fellow youngsters who travel a lot and have lived in more than a country, especially those who share with me the ideal of cultural open-mindedness.
You may have, like myself, learned to appreciate the beauty of learning about a new culture, integrating with it, meeting new friends and enjoying the new life you establish in a new place that you can learn to call your new home.
I think it is a privilege, and despite so much globalization, only few actually feel this way. All of this is good and fine, but I have noticed one sad thing about international open-minded people like us - and feel free to contradict me if I am wrong - we have a great curiosity and while making new friends, it seems to me that we are more excited to also look for... new love.
Nothing particularly wrong if you're single, but many who were already in a relationship before moving abroad, traveling, doing an exchange program, or getting a new position in another country, seem to be less interested in their existing partners in face of the big D (Distance).
Basically my impression is that while succeeding in adapting to a new culture, many of us give up on their pre-existing romantic commitments - for numerous reasons.
My first question is: do you have this impression as well?
I feel that what I am speaking about happens mostly in countries of the Western world, and even more frequently among non-married couples in their early 20s.
There is some sort of STIGMA against the fact that one's partner lives Protected content of miles away!
Now, I would like to speak out to those who are a bit more optimistic and less cynical and can approach this issue with a problem-solving attitude:
Does opening our mind to something new always have to mean breaking hearts of the old?
Can't we ignore the distance and remember about the importance of love? (I guess this depends on different people's different values... but I think on this forum we feel in a similar way)
Using the motto of this website:
If we can use our intellect and effort to "connect global minds", why can't we do the same to hold our hearts together across oceans and continents?? :-)
Hoping that I hear optimistic and positive stories, I would like to mention that almost 2 years after having moved away, I still love the one and only woman of my life who lives far, far, far away and whom I hope to join again after my years here...
And you know the funny situation that happened to me? I experienced the exact reverse of the above problem:
While being very successful with her, I have a much harder time making new friends where I currently live :)
This is what brought me to write on this forum and wonder about whether adapting to a new city is necessarily incompatible with loving someone who lives in another country...
Maybe you think I am crazy and nobody else has experienced these problems. But it would be nice to hear your views and opinions.