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The Unfilled Void

More than once in my life I saw it perfectly. Against the light of life, with a shimmering shadow. The void.

The void left by someone who went away. Not just in another person, but in a group. A family. A band of friends.


Sucking air and energy and creating rifts and new orbits for those that stayed behind.

The first time I contacted with this void my friends pointed the finger at me. I had left and I had left an emptiness hard to fill. I was the reason for the void. Things changed for them and they somehow mimicked my place in their life to fill the void.

And it was filled.

When I got back to them I had to find a new place among them.

Then again when I became an expat. Easier to fill this time. The void didn't linger long. They were already aware... They knew how to act.

But once I felt the void myself.
The emptiness left by someone.
The impossible space to fill.
The empty chair that nobody wanted to use.
The words unsaid.
The smell lost.
The laughter not laughed.
The lack of certainty. Ghost sounds in a meeting. Eyes lost in the void.

That was when my grandfather died.

And such as he was, the void never filled completely for the family.

I still feel it.

People are celestial corps that can become black holes of emotions when they leave.

Do you know what I am talking about?

Have you felt the void?

Have you been the void?