The Top Jobs affected by outsourcing..... (Chicago)
Washington, DC -- August 07, Protected content
Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of October 31, Protected content .
The move is being made in order to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary, and a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred during the last 6 months.
It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved by the end of the President's term. "We believe this is a wise move. The savings are huge," stated Rep. Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with our current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.
Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.
Gurvinder Singh, a technician for Teleservices Mumbai India , will assume the office of President as of November 1, Protected content . Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, NY, this making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $ Protected content a month, with no health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a staff. Due to the time difference between the US ;and India, he will be working at night. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.
"I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this
should not be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.
Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.
"Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."
Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately
he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his benefits will exceed the allowed limit.
Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming transition. According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties securing a new position due to a lack of any work experience.
A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to Obama's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile. He will probably be working at the new WalMart that will be completed in Hyde Park, close to the Universty of Chicago.