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Where do I even start? (Shanghai)

My company is re-locating me to Shanghai (from USA). I have a family so my initial research is critical. I am having a difficult time finding a central resource that provides recommendations on highly-regarded ex-pat communities, international schools, and international healthcare. I am assuming there are Protected content communities that many consider to be very nice and established with easy access to high-end international schools and healthcare? I just can't find that information.

Step #2: Then, based on the recommended ex-pat communities what are the typical costs that I should include in my relocation package? For example:
1. 3-bedroom monthly rent in a very nice community
2. international school tuition per year
3. personal driver costs per year
4. personal nanny costs per year
5. what else am I missing that I must consider?

Thank you all for any help you can provide.

Shanghai Forum