Temperament&Personality in Relationship & Marriage

Who are you, how did you get that way and how you relate with others who aren't like you.

Is diversity/Similarity in Personality important in a relationship or marriage?

Temperament defined:
Your temperament is like a canvas. It is your basic inherited style. It is the fabric underlying who you are. Generally speaking, two of the basic temperament types are outgoing or extroverted and two are more inward directed or introverted. This varies based on temperament blend and our individual personality development.

Personality defined:
your personality is like the painting on the canvas. It is what you have built on top of your temperament. Two people with like temperament may be very different in actual behavior. Factors that affect personality include socialization, education, birth order, siblings or lack of siblings and interpersonal pressure will cause us to adapt and change our behaviors.

Why study temperament?
understanding temperament - your own and others - makes you much better equipped to handle interpersonal relationships successfully. Studying your own temperament helps you understand your strengths and weaknesses and why you do some of the things you do. Understanding another's temperament can help you adapt your communication to theirs or at least, understand why you have problems with them.

The four types:
Sanguine
The sanguine temperament is traditionally associated with air. People with this temperament tend to be lively, sociable, carefree, talkative, and pleasure-seeking. They may be warm-hearted and optimistic. They can make new friends easily, be imaginative and artistic, and often have many ideas.They can be flighty and changeable; thus sanguine personalities may struggle with following tasks all the way through and be chronically late or forgetful.

Pedagogically, they can be best reached through awakening their love for a subject and admiration of people.

Choleric
The choleric temperament is traditionally associated with fire. People with this temperament tend to be egocentric and extroverted. They may be excitable, impulsive, and restless, with reserves of aggression, energy, and/or passion, and try to instill that in others.

They tend to be task-oriented people and are focused on getting a job done efficiently; their motto is usually "do it now." They can be ambitious, strong-willed and like to be in charge. They can show leadership, are good at planning, and are often practical and solution-oriented.They appreciate receiving respect and esteem for their work.

Pedagogically, they can be best reached through mutual respect and appropriate challenges that recognize their capacities.

Melancholic
Melancholia
The melancholic temperament is traditionally associated with the element of earth. People with this temperament may appear serious, introverted, cautious or even suspicious. They can become preoccupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world and are susceptible to depression and moodiness. They may be focused and conscientious. They often prefer to do things themselves, both to meet their own standards and because they are not inherently sociable.
Pedagogically, they can be best met by awakening their sympathy for others and the suffering of the world.

Phlegmatic
Phlegmatic by Lespagnandelle, part of the Grande Commande, Palace of Versailles.The phlegmatic temperament is traditionally associated with water. People with this temperament may be inward and private, thoughtful, reasonable, calm, patient, caring, and tolerant. They tend to have a rich inner life, seek a quiet, peaceful atmosphere, and be content with themselves. They tend to be steadfast, consistent in their habits, and thus steady and faithful friends.

Pedagogically, their interest is often awakened by experiencing others' interest in a subject.
People of this temperament may appear somewhat ponderous or clumsy. Their speech tends to be slow or appear hesitant.

Blend of Temperaments:
The four-temperament model had 12 mixtures of the four temperaments, such as Mel-Chlor, San-Mel, etc. The order of temperaments in these pairs was based on which temperament was the "dominant" one. This new model has two types of "blends": across the three areas of inclusion, control and affection, and within each of those areas. "Across" the three areas, a person can be one temperament in inclusion, another one in control, and yet another in affection. So a "San-Mel" in the older system would be someone dominantly Sanguine, but with some Melancholy traits. There are usually no specific criterion given, as to in what respect they are one temperament or the other; it just states that they have the traits of both. The new system, however, handily tells us where the different temperamental traits lie: namely, the three "areas of need"! So what the older system would call a San-Mel, might correspond to Sanguine in Inclusion and Affection, and Melancholy in Control. Or they could be any other combination of two to one. The new system does not use designations like "San-Mel"; but rather "Sanguine-Melancholy-Sanguine"; listing all three in the order of Inclusion, Control and Affection. This yields Protected content blends of basic temperaments overall!

my questions:
- Can you change your personality?
- Can you change someone else's personality?
- Why do people so often marry opposite temperament?
- Why do different temperament types irritate us?
- Is one temperament better than another?

From Wikipedia, Self growth (Temperament and Peronality).... and some of my Random thoughts.