Failure Of Interracial Relationship (Groningen)
Study shows inter racial relationships relationships are more likely and higher at risk to fail.
Reasons are shifted from the potential risks and are blamed mostly on cultural differences, when cultural differences are just a pinch of the iceberg.
Culture indeed plays a role but it’s not the real culprit to why most inter-racial relationship falls so drastically apart.
The problems encountered by interracial couples are often the result of negative societal attitudes about interracial relationships
To begin with, Societies already have labeled inter-racial relationship as necessity not love.
In my opinion, primary factors aiding inter racial relationship failure, with outstanding successful results are:.
E.g an African/Asian woman in Europe, walking on the street with her husband,
first the man is seen as the walking wallet
the woman is the walking passport or the wallet spender.
It is fair to say, societies frowns at inter-racial relationship.
in African, Caucasians are seen as world bank with hard currency
In Asia, as a means of survival.
They pretend to respect your choice but when trouble knocks at your relationship or marriage, they immediately seize the opportunity & waste no time voicing their opinion on how wrong it had been from the start. In some cases, the family rejects you outright, everything is wrong about you.
These group feels threatened by their friendship. They see partner as competitions.
When a man or a woman marries or are busy building a relationship, it cost hardwork, energy, attention, and responsibility.
During this transitions, friendship are put on hold. Rather than the understanding and respect expected from friends, they immediately assumes partners are the reason, their friendship seems awkward.
Friends roles are very important, you rely on your friends for trusted advice regarding your relationship.
Unfortunately, friends impulse is “wreck it all, win your friendship back”.
The influence they have as friends, pave the way to work against inter racial relationship.
Seriously, isn’t it possible that these inter racial couples could truly love each other?
lets examine culture role in inter-racial relationship.
The African/Asian/Eastern European culture mind software is programmed to respect and pledge undying love, affection, care, to the man. Being a good cook, is often emphasized on strongly, since it is said, “the way to a man's heart is through the stomach”. Solidarity to the man and the man should always be in control.
But when they are in inter-relationship, revise is the case,
she wants to be in control and abuse the privileges, she gets from the foreign partner.
They become lazy, they want to hire a personal cook.
They turn their husband into nanny.
Rather than being the keeper of the wealth of his hard works, she becomes the careless spender.
trying hard to impress her community and friends.
Western European culture is 100% respect to women, she controls the family wallet, arrange the family agenda. She is put first before any person.
Rather than respect their foreign partner, they treat her as a painting on the wall, just make yourself beautiful, “you don’t have to know about tax refund”, or what goes in and out of my wallet, except the cash, I decide to make free, “just remain hanging on the wall. you don’t have to ask about my work or how i feel, that’s my family and friends job.
or just sign the contract, you stupid African or Asian girl, when i get tired of you, i just buy myself a new painting.
At family gathering or friends party, she is set aside as the intruder.
We can’t blame culture because clearly we don’t apply culture in inter racial relationship.
We are all human so when you find a person you love & want to be with, just treat them, how expect yourself to be treated. After all, the general golden rule, in all culture is “Do unto others as would be done unto you”. Trust, respect , undying support of your partner, in all situation. Rather than emphasizing, be understanding, and encouraging. More significantly is lower your expectation, and show the willingness, and interest in each other culture.
In conclusion, do not build your relationship based on society, friends & family expectations.
If there is a problem, talk with your partner. Tell about your work, your interest even if he or she isn’t interested, keep telling, share your worries, as well as your financial situation, give her a chance to feel responsible for the household chores and your financial decisions.
That’s why he/she is your partner. And remember, it’s all a test of time, after all time, they say, is the greatest healer.
Success or failure of any relationship is based purely on individual effort.
And individual indeed does varies.